![]() ![]() But I couldn’t force myself to say good?bye to Brock and not blame myself for the way things had fallen apart. Marie would have a fit if she knew I still hung on to it-to the memory of what could have been. ![]() I should have thrown it away after high school. The hardwood floor creaked and moaned as I tiptoed my way into the kitchen in my oversize anarchy T?shirt that nearly swallowed me. I sighed as I slid out of my single bed, my covers falling over the edge and pooling at my feet. You become a walking shell that can no longer function without your significant other whispering into your soul, telling your heart to beat. Sometimes love burns so hot in your veins that it consumes all rational thought. I wasn’t living that nightmare that plagued me every time I closed my eyes. My vision slowly adjusted to my dark, cramped bedroom. My eyes darted to my cell phone beside my bed as I contemplated calling Marie. ![]() Pushing the dyed? blond hair from my forehead, I struggled to slow my breathing. ![]() I woke with a thin layer of sweat covering my body as chills ran through me. I existed by pure accident, and no one would let me forget how unwanted I was. No one laid his head on his pillow at night to dream of me. No one looked forward to seeing me in the morning. It wasn’t that I viewed my tears as a weakness it was that I knew what they’d said was true. That sickening word that opens the floodgates of my emotions. I tried to hold back the tears, but they used that word. ![]()
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